With skyrocketing day care costs and the cost of living going up every year. It may not make much sense for a woman work outside the home. Let’s say her paycheck is around $1200 every two weeks, but day care is about $400 a week, then she will literally be only bringing home $400 a pay period and that doesn’t even include food or gas.
So now dad works full time outside of the home while mom stays and watches the kids. Seems pretty simple right? But what happens when dad has to wake at 6am to try to beat traffic, spends close to 1 hr in the car. Works 8hrs only to commute home again. When he gets home he wants to relax a little BUT mom has been waiting roughly nine hours for the opportunity to pass her often screaming child to someone else for a few minutes so she can have a break ( wine please). It’s what everyone wanted but somehow no one is happy.
Dad feels like his job is done, he wants to come home and chill out, he feels like mom doesn’t do enough whole he’s gone. Meanwhile mom feels unappreciated and overwhelmed. So now what?
Lets me recommend two things that may help.
Every player on a team has a role. In order to win the game everyone must play their part. So just look as it as two people both working hard to accomplish one common goal. And that should be to have a happy and successful life and marriage.
It’s easy to look at someone and think what it’s like to be them. But try to put yourself in your spouses shoes. He needs to understand that it’s not easy to be the sole breadwinner of an entire household. And she needs to understand that taking care of children is a real job that requires real effort.
Even when women love the idea of staying home with their children, however, the arrangement creates strain in a marriage. For one thing, there’s an undeniable change in the power dynamic because he who makes the money makes the rules. So in some instances he may think that whatever he say goes, so that leaves her feeling worthless. Understand that you need each other to make this thing work.